What does it feel like to be Happy?

You'll never figure out real love
Never get real love & Its so crazy
I had everything else figured out until I lost "real love"
& For some strange reason I can never find what real love is all about
Not a doubt, everything in the world I figured out but I could never seem to grasp what real love was about and if it existed. Does it exist?

Don't you think I would sacrifice my life for all the fame just to see the flashing lights?
Do you doubt I would sacrifice life

There is nothing I could buy t substitute the feeling
There is no lotion I could put on to soothe the burning searing scars on my skin from the pain i've held and felt and inflicted on myself
There is no drugs that they could sell to prevent me from subconsciously feeling aware that i'm alone
No remedy to get my heart out of this hell & my mind out of this jail
There is no hourglass that I could buy and tip it upside-down that could turn back the time.
There is no secret place I could fly to get away from reality
It couldn't bring back the pieces of my life that i'm missing
Real love in life, what does it feel like?
I ask you tonight...
What does it feel like, To live a happy life
I just want to be a h a p p y but Happiness doesn't come to people like me
They say I give good advice but i'm never in a position to take control of my own life.
Just like Pinocchio's story is "I just want to be a real boy"
my story goes I want a real boy.

Isn't it funny that Pinocchio lied and that’s what kept him from finding what he really desired
I tell the truth and I keep getting lied to keeping me from attaining the solitude I seek

Its like im looking for something out there trying to find something
I look in the mirror trying to see me and see nothing, or rather what I see isn't the me I recognize, or the me I that I used to be

Not some facade on tv that no-one can really feel
No Jersey Shore, No Hills, No Soap Opera , This is a real crumbling life.Did I ever really have the confidence...
For everybody that sees you and say 'looka that ho'

do you think it never affected me. Do you think it didn't hurt me, do you think I had on a Iron shield that the stigmas just bounced of and I didn't care?
For everybody that sees you cryin' and says 'you oughta be happy' but what if i can't be happy?

is this the look of someone happy? read between the lines.

& there is no Puppeter to guide & help me, noone who cares about me enough right beside me
The only one left that was always behind me I don't seem to know him anymore,
I cant call him when i need to anymore I just  .........cant...
In the back of my mind is the memory of me when I was little and growing up was a distant dream

And the infamous things i got framed for
And the day I moved to England
Maybe the result of things.... that was all my fault
Chasing something that i discovered would never be real
Just because of those fucking Disney films
And when the facade fades
And the clothes are gone and i'm naked am i any different to what everyone thinks i am?
And the 'hoe status' was left
Tell me what is left?

The most valuable people in my life say one day you’ll find your way
That's what they say
but the sad reality of it I don't believe in reality and I don't believe in YOU or them anymore.